Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. – Ephesians 4:14-15

There’s a phrase I’ve quoted before, or rather misquoted, so I recently looked it up. It was first made by Warren W. Wiersbe, a Bible teacher, and author, who served as the pastor of Moody Church in Chicago from 1971 to 1978. This is what he actually said:

Truth without love is brutality, and love without truth is hypocrisy.

Here’s a general example that demonstrates the consequences of both these ways of operating: parents who always tell their children that everything they do is absolutely wonderful are not helping their offspring learn to take criticism or correction. Their hypocrisy results in their children growing up with an exaggerated sense of their own worth and often, a toxic sense of entitlement. However, parents who constantly criticise their children without any sort of encouragement are also damaging them. Their brutality results in their offspring often growing up with a crippling sense of their own worthlessness.

If you think that is complicated, it’s even worse when it comes to adults, especially in an age where people increasingly declare that there is no such thing as absolute truth. Truth is “relative”, relative to cultural whims, to political correctness, and to our own personal likes and dislikes. So, do we have the right to speak “truth” into people’s lives? I believe we do, indeed, we must. God’s truth remains absolute and constant, but increasingly, we need real courage and clarity to stand up for God’s truth. 

Isaiah 5:20 warns us about challenges, and his words are as relevant today as they ever were.

Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.

Woe to us too, when we are afraid to stand up and call out evil for what it is, even if the people involved are amongst our friends and family, or within the Church. Will we be rejected if we dare speak God’s truth? It’s always a possibility. This is why it is vital that we speak the truth IN LOVE, but we must speak the truth, even if it costs.

Sometimes the excuse we use to say nothing is that someone may be hurt by what we say. More often than not, the reality is that we fear they will not only reject our message but they’ll reject us as well. I have to admit that there are times I have either chickened out of saying something I should have said, or said it in such a round-about way that I probably never got the message across. Equally there’ve been times I’ve said something that’s right, but maybe said it in the wrong way. Other times, the person has simply refused to accept the truth.

I’m reminded of the verse from Proverbs 27:6 “Wounds from a friend are better than kisses from an enemy”. This is painfully true, but perhaps this pain can be necessary, like a lifesaving surgery…

The American Apologist, Greg Turkl, speaks about this dilemma, and he suggests a disarming way of approaching difficult topics by asking the following question. “If you saw that I was about to embark on a course of action which you knew would have disastrous or damaging consequences for me or someone else, would you love me enough to tell me?” If the person says yes, then it opens a door for you to say that, because you love them, you want to warn them that what they are doing (or what they are about to do), will also have serious consequences.

Even so, great wisdom (and humility) is needed, and it’s important to choose the right time and place because such things shouldn’t be addressed when emotions are running high. We might need to prayerfully process what is going on. I certainly do. I’m not one of those people who can immediately and succinctly sum up a situation. Even if I feel something’s not quite right, I often need to go away and think and pray about it before I dare say anything, in case I get it wrong. At the same time, we must also avoid finding excuses not to speak, especially when the Holy Spirit is prompting us to do so.

We are surrounded by a culture that has not only abandoned God’s moral code but largely abandoned God himself. We are also surrounded by people who are “cunning and crafty in their deceitful scheming”, but however hard it is to stand by God’s truth, by saying nothing in situations where evil is rife and sin abounds, we are condoning sin. However, in this battle, and it is a real battle, we must always remember Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 13:6-8:

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 

With love in Jesus,

Sarah

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